🌹🌸 Tysm 🌸🌹

💕 27 December 2017 💕

For the first time I went out of the town with him.
We went to Pantai Sungai Lurus, Senggarang.
I'm the one who asked him out 👉👈
because it's been a while we didn't go out together
and I want to spend some time with him 😁

I felt guilty a bit by made him going out with me todayy 😅
because he's the type, who won't stop when he starts the studying.
But somehow i felt so happy
because he's willingly to spent some time with me. Hehe 🙈
and i got the chance to know him more..

He's the type who knows that by just being beside me could make me happy,
who understands that there's no need to talk to each other
all the time (to give me some space to have my own time).
Honestly, I do feel very pleased with his way.

When we're being together, we could talk anything that we feel like to
like we would talk about the comparison of both of us
in our ways of studies and life.
He's the only one who could encourages me to keep up with my studies.
I feel so much comfortable when I'm with him.

Somehow, I can't lie that my heart's longing for him.
I want to be in a serious commitment with him
but I don't have the courage and yet I'm scared to start it all over again.
So I'm currently just follow the flow
and we'll see where'll the story of me and him end up.
Allahu'alam.

By the wayy,
Thank youu so much 🌸
You don't know how happy I am
Your presence by just being beside me could made my day
eventhough I'm not in the mood to smile at first.
but you made me 🙈
Thanks a lot 💕
Thank you for todayy 🌹

 

Dear Crush ❤

It has been 2 months since I've met him.

And you know what?

On the date that exactly 2 months I've met him (071117),

I confessed myself to him 

that I have a crush on him

and I'm not hoping too much from him, other than being friends.

At first, he told me that he was shocked

because that's the first time ever a person confessed to him 😂

and he told me that he accepted to be friends 

as he's not ready to be in a relationship yet

(that's what i told him though haha)

I'm scared that he will feel so awkward with me

but finally I'm able to endure it (yeay me!)

and now, we're still contacting each other like usual.

Somehow, his behaviour do change a little bit.

Before I confessed, he's kind of childish and playful. haha

But now, he seems more matured, by the way he texted me.

I don't know.

Maybe that's just my feelings as I like him a lot.

I can't deny that I fall for him even harder as each days pass by 😍🙈

He's somehow very cute, from my perspective. hehe

He does cherish my day since I've met him 🌸

And on 25th October 2017,

We had a picture together for the first time! 🙈

We had breakfast together at McDonalds that morning.

And before I went to class, I asked him to have a selfie together. hehehe!

Well, that's me though 😝

I can't let a chance slip away just like that, isn't it? heee

Okay, I think that's all from me, this time.

Anything, I will keep on updating 😉

 

Unspoken words, untold feelings

The more i tried to deny my own feelings, the more i fall for him.

I want him to know, but I don't want to tell him.

Day by day, I can't get him off my mind.

He's kind of nerdy and clingy.

Yeah, he's clingy. Too clingy with me.

And I just can't help myself to not fall for him.

He's kind of who can encourage me to keep on studying.

He makes me wants to come to class everyday.

I feel so comfortable when I'm around him.

I can tell stories as much as I want when I'm with him.

He's kind of cute and funny and innocent too.

But sometimes he can be clumsy 😂

When it's just the two of us, he will be so much talkative.

And he'll be so much quiet when there's other people with us.

That's kind of cute for me. Haha

But what about him? 

Does he feels the same thing like I am?

Because sometimes he treats me like a friend.

And other times, he treats me like I'm someone special.

And he's kind of being so childish when he's with me.

But I don't want to be too focused on this kind of things.

I just want him to know about what I feel.

And I want to be sure of what he feels.

Furthermore, it's just the beginning.

I don't want to put a high hope this time.

Let it flows with time.

Allah knows better than us.

Allahu'alam. Lillahita'ala.

I am confused.

Day by day, I'm getting confused with my own feelings.

Whenever how much I tried, my mind will always goes to him.

Sometimes, i wondering by myself..

"If he wants to get back with me, will I accept him or not?"

Truthfully, I'm scared to give the answer if it does happen.

If I said yes, I'm not ready to give any commitments anymore.

I'm scared to try once again, to get hurt.

Furthermore, my heart still aches with the reason he used to leave me before.

And he's still the same, does not trust me in any way.

If I said no, my heart, my mind, is longing for him.

And i do still hoping that he will change for the better.

That he could trust me and take a good care of me.

And it's not wrong to give him a second chance and try again.

But it's kinda impossible, isn't it?

I don't even know whether he's feeling the same thing with me or not.

I don't know whether his feelings for me before this, is true or not.

Or is it me, who are the one, feeling like this while he's not?

I don't know whether to hold on or just let go.

Me, myself, wants to let go because I don't want to think more about it.

But my heart wants to hold on at the same time.

This thing keep on distracting me. Ugh

Feelings..

I don't know whether I'm missing the situation or the person.

'Cause I did a throwback just now,

scrolling down all of the pictures in the album.

I can remember and describe clearly all of the story behind each of the pictures.

Is it wrong for me to miss the person who once makes me happy?

Eventhough it's quite troublesome,

but I do enjoy the person's company.

Everything that he did,

eventhough most of it annoys me,

could make me smile and laugh by myself.

Though my heart still hurt by his actions,

all I can think and see is the good side of him.

Or do I just miss the feeling of being loved by someone?

I don't know.

But the only thing I know,

there's no one could have this heart anymore.

Including him.

Exclude this one person, besides my family.

A person that I called, 'brother'.

Masalah, masalah, masalah!

Terkadang kita takboleh lari dari masalah

Ke mana saja kita pergi, masalah akan sentiasa menjadi pengikut setia

Begitu juga aku.

Hidup aku juga penuh dengan masalah, seperti orang lain juga.

Perbezaannya, bagaimana kita hadapi masalah tu

dan cara kita tanganinya.

Aku bagaikan ingin lari dari semua masalah yang membelenggu diri ini.

Mahu meluah, tapi tidak juga terluah.

Akhirnya, aku hanya mampu berdiam diri.

Menyepikan diri. Membawa diri.

Semasa di pantai kelmarin, rasa seperti tak mahu pulang.

Rasa seperti mahu menenggelamkan diri dalam air tu.

Rasa mahu tinggal di situ untuk sementara waktu.

Kataku, semuanya ok. Tidak ada apa-apa masalah.

Tapi ternyata, hanya berkata sahaja.

Di dalam hati, hanya Allah saja yang tahu.

Aku tahu aku kuat. 

Tapi kali ni, aku tewas.

Aku tak mampu nak menghadapinya.

Ianya sangat mengganggu fikiran.

Tapi aku juga tak mampu berbuat apa-apa.

Ya Allah.. kau kuatkanlah diri hambaMu ini

dalam menghadapi ujianMu.

New Life!

Assalamualaikum ~ Hi, peeps!

It has been a while since I didn't update my page.

Haha kinda busy though.

For your information, I've been busy with my degree.

Oh yeah, I am currently studying at UTHM, Batu Pahat.

(you can google it for more information)

And I'm in the 2nd semester right now.

Pheww.. how fast the time flies.

I've been enjoying my time here :D

Yeah, I do enjoy my university life a lot.

Furthermore, I'm currently busy with my army life ;)

I'm a part of ROTU UTHM family.

Kinda exhausting with it  but I love it!

Haha there's a lot of stories to tell but I can't tell all of it here.

My life has been changed a lot since I've entered here.

Alhamdulillah.. it leads to a better life and better self ^^

'Till we meet then. :*

Perpustakaan Tunku Tun Aminah
The largest library in Southeast Asia.