Sunday, May 14, 2017

I am confused.

Day by day, I'm getting confused with my own feelings.
Whenever how much I tried, my mind will always goes to him.

Sometimes, i wondering by myself..
"If he wants to get back with me, will I accept him or not?"

Truthfully, I'm scared to give the answer if it does happen.

If I said yes, I'm not ready to give any commitments anymore.
I'm scared to try once again, to get hurt.
Furthermore, my heart still aches with the reason he used to leave me before.
And he's still the same, does not trust me in any way.

If I said no, my heart, my mind, is longing for him.
And i do still hoping that he will change for the better.
That he could trust me and take a good care of me.
And it's not wrong to give him a second chance and try again.

But it's kinda impossible, isn't it?

I don't even know whether he's feeling the same thing with me or not.
I don't know whether his feelings for me before this, is true or not.
Or is it me, who are the one, feeling like this while he's not?

I don't know whether to hold on or just let go.
Me, myself, wants to let go because I don't want to think more about it.
But my heart wants to hold on at the same time.

This thing keep on distracting me. Ugh

Sunday, May 7, 2017


I don't know whether I'm missing the situation or the person.
'Cause I did a throwback just now,
scrolling down all of the pictures in the album.
I can remember and describe clearly all of the story behind each of the pictures.

Is it wrong for me to miss the person who once makes me happy?
Eventhough it's quite troublesome,
but I do enjoy the person's company.

Everything that he did,
eventhough most of it annoys me,
could make me smile and laugh by myself.

Though my heart still hurt by his actions,
all I can think and see is the good side of him.

Or do I just miss the feeling of being loved by someone?
I don't know.

But the only thing I know,
there's no one could have this heart anymore.
Including him.

Exclude this one person, besides my family.
A person that I called, 'brother'.